Friday, May 17, 2013

You're Invited! BYOWhine(& Cheese)

She's ready for Project Runway, don't you
 think? We can  make it work. :)
I usually try to refrain from writing in mimicry (is that even a word?) of other bloggers, though there are occasions when I see topics that really lay on my heart. Please indulge my rambling prose. Today's 7 Quick Takes by Jennifer Fulwiler brought up the topic of complaining among bloggers and how so many of us participate in complaining but qualify it with a "we know others have it worse." Grace has also recently posted over at Camp Patton about her own struggles while her husband is completing his residency. I know I've had my own moment in the sun.

I have to say that while I complain quite a bit, and generally do so with the caveat that I understand I am blessed and others have it worse, I add that caveat for a couple of reasons. One is to preempt the commenters who will otherwise remind me that I have it pretty good (as though I have a boatload of commenters!). The other is to keep things in perspective.

That said, I agree wholeheartedly with Jen that we should not feel a need to qualify our rantings. All the women whose writing I have read are deeply rooted in their love of Christ and their commitment to model their lives and their families after Him. To ask for qualification is to question that, and I do not. In fact, I think we need to remember that pain is relative to our situation. Growth comes out of struggle, and struggling isn't easy. What I appreciate about the no-holds-barred ravings is the dose of reality that I encounter. When writers lament of their own struggles, with or without whine, I feel normal. I feel that I can overcome whatever it is that I am mucking my way through because I am not alone. It is so important for us to not feel alone. 

In motherhood, in womanhood, in humanhood, in general - we are not beings who are created to thrive in isolation. Is it a discipline some take on for the sake of others? Yes. Is it our natural state? No. We are created to be in community, to live in that village as we struggle through the joys and tribulations of life (Hillary didn't have it all wrong). The God who created us is community Himself in the Triune person. We need that authentic community and the ability to express all our joys and struggles with temperance, but without remorse. Do we need to blog every emotion we have every minute of the day? Probably not. Is it good for us to find ways to express what is going on inside of us, even the ugly, without fear of judgment or a necessity to qualify our understanding of the blessedness of our lives? You betcha. 

The devil triumphs in darkness. What we do not bring into the light becomes fodder for his delight. Complaining, venting, whining...whatever you want to call all brings what we struggle with in the dark out into the light. In that light, we lift each other up, we share our strength, we commiserate and feel each other's pain (why not add in a reference to both Clintons?). We share in the journey of motherhood which in this isolating culture can be pretty daunting - we don't have the well at the town at which we gather. Our well is often the internet, and our water cooler talk is the nitty gritty of our lives, which all contain the struggle of the tension we endure in our humanity. We share in the journey to the heart of Christ, in which we know there is pain because Christ endured the greatest pain. 

What is my point in sharing all this? First and foremost, I want someone, anyone out there who feels as though they are wrong to complain or whine to know that they are not alone in whatever is causing their complaint. Secondly, I hope that people understand that when "we" are complaining, we are working through struggles in our lives and looking for a "Giiiirrrrl...I know what you mean!" and not a "You should enjoy these moments - you will miss them!" If we get stuck in a rut of complaint, well, then maybe a swift kick in the hiney by a close friend (or the Pope) is in order. Finally, I just want everyone to know that my door is always open for a Whine and Cheese Party. Come on in for a dose of complaining coupled with a lot of laughter. (Get it? Whine. Cheese. Oh, nevermind.) If the complaining isn't clearing us of the muck and lightening us up, then we've missed the mark. So bring the whine, but please also bring the cheese. I've yet to indulge in any of these new-fangled nutrition plans, so the more the merrier!


  1. You did a great job of taking the issue to a deeper level, Rakhi. And I'm 100% with you that community is essential and isolation is Satan's primary goal. If I didn't live something like 4000 miles away from you I'd be at your doorstep in a flash to celebrate our common weakness in the flesh and common strength in the Lord.

    1. Thanks, Anna. (Clearly I'm catching up on comments today...) I'd love to have you pop by - or visit you...your place looks more interesting and the food looks delicious. (Yes, I'm hungry right now.) :)

  2. Ha- love the whine and cheese. And girl, I know what you mean.;) Great post, esp. those middle paragraphs- so well expressed!

    1. Thanks, Lisa! And you seriously just made me choke on my coffee in laughter. :)

  3. Love this post! Paragraph #4 especially.


I'd love to hear your thoughts! Rest assured I do read each and every word, but please forgive me if I don't get back to you right away. The toddler tugging on my leg and the one year old pulling my hair may have seized control of my typing abilities. Blessings on your day!