So, as I was driving, I was going through my morning and realized I could do an entire Quick Takes just on my morning. Indulge me - I gotta vent. Be warned - this is not a "Life is Good" post (though it is, it really is). There aren't even pictures. You know that's not normal!
Just for once I would like to feel like I am not behind the game and stressing to get out the door relatively on time without drool on my shirt and hair and makeup done. Just once. I'm guessing that's not in the cards for a family with littles or cats who throw up just as you are walking out the door. Sorry Hubbers, we'll have to clean that up when we get home - I wasn't coming back in the door!
I am sick sick sick of clutter. Too many toys, too much everything! I was reading some other 7QT posts and a few people were talking of our perpetual Lent as parents (and especially parents of littles). Yes yes yes! This Lent, my goal was to detach from my iDevice and be more present. You know what would help me be more present? Let's just take everything in the house that is causing clutter, put it in a large pile in the yard and take a match to it. No, really. Is that detached enough for you? Hey Scott - I'll even let you light the match that gets to engulf my frivolous books! (Note to all my bibliophile friends - no, I'm not actually going to burn books. Note to Hubbers - in this case, "what's yours is mine" does not apply - please breathe.)
This is partially due to #1 on the list, but why, oh why, must the Devil aggravate me with bad drivers when I'm already late? Seriously, if I am the only car coming, and you need to pull out into traffic to turn left in the direction I am going, WHY must you cut me off and then drive >10 MPH slower than me? Would it have killed you to wait 10 seconds and pull out after me? NO ONE IS BEHIND ME! I am, of course, as I get ready to indulge myself in a bit of road rage and tailgate, reminded that time - all time - is created by and belongs to God and there must be a purpose greater than my little mind can comprehend. Yeah yeah, I hear ya Holy Spirit - stop whispering.
We are at THAT stage with Li'l G. The one where she latches on to one thing we say and then repeats it over and over and over and over and over and over until I want to stick my finger in my eye to relieve that headache that is beginning. It's not enough that she doesn't stop talking EVER during waking hours, but once she latches to a word or idea, game over. Kids were going over to Nonna's this morning....around noon, mind you. Well, she remembered and from 7:45 when she woke up until I contemplated finding a fifth of whatever was lying around the house, that was ALL I heard. Well, that interspersed with "watch Veggie Tales" over and over and over and over and over.
Stress eating leads me to McDonald's. Heaven help me, all I wanted to eat (since I didn't have five seconds to put together a meal) was a Filet-O-Fish meal from McD's with a chocolate shake. You bet your bum that's what I am having for lunch. "Lose It!" gets shelved for today before mama loses it for realz.
I miss my mom and am rather frustrated she is not around. Granted, when she is here she typically drives me nuts, but I'd rather she were here anyway. We are incredibly blessed to have Nonna helping us with the kids well beyond what is probably acceptable with our Lenten and Easter conference/work schedules, but as much as she is my second mom, it's just not the same as my own mom. Besides which, my mom is missing out on precious moments with these kids who may never really get to know her, y'know? Does someone else want to take up the banner of "move your behind to Michigan" with her? I'm spent.
I'm spent. I mean hanging on by a thread spent. Prayer life - mediocre at best. Eating - yeah, pretty much whatever is convenient...what's healthy? Health - yeah, starting to worry that's suffering a little too. I'm so thankful for the mommy blogosphere and other mom friends who read my posts and let me know I'm not completely nuts. However, something has gotta give. Hoping this weekend conference/retreat will provide some major breakthroughs and miracles. I need to live in my gifts and struggling every day to find ways to do that is draining. I need light within the tunnel, not just at the end of it...