Wednesday, February 25, 2015

{Lenten Love Dare} You Are Not Forgotten

If you looked me right in the eye
Would you see the pain deep inside
Would you take the time to
Tell me what I need to hear
Tell me that I’m not forgotten
Show me there’s a God
Who can be more than all I’ve ever wanted
‘Cause right now I need a little hope
I need to know that I’m not alone
Maybe God is calling you tonight
To tell me something
That might save my life

Sidewalk Prophets, Save My Life

The greatest desire of our hearts is to be loved, to belong, to be found worthy. Whether we acknowledge it openly or not, how many of our most crushing moments stem from a time when we felt cast aside, invisible, unworthy, unloved, and unnoticed? I know that those times of darkness in my life drain me of energy, joy, motivation, and make me turn inward in a negative way. Most often I can be found crumpled on the kitchen floor - just ask the Hubs!

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta astutely diagnosed us in the west some decades ago. She prophetically noted that 
The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty -- it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God.
This has not changed. If we are honest, we are spiraling even further into an epidemic of loneliness and isolation, despite advances in communication technology and transportation. The ability to be connected at any time has ironically left us ill equipped to connect with one another meaningfully. We have become a people of ten second soundbites, 140 character messages, and quick updates. How often do we see one another seated at tables laughing and smiling at our phones and tablets instead of looking at the people who are right beside us. I know I am guilty of it at times myself. It has to stop.

Before we go further, understand that I am not anti-technology. Quite the opposite really. I love how growing technology has given us the tools to connect with one another in a manner unprecedented at any other time of human history. However, as Peter Parker's (Spiderman's) Uncle Ben reminds us, it seems by quoting Voltaire, "With great power comes great responsibility." 

How many people do we walk by without acknowledging with as much as a smile? Do we look people in the eye as we pass, or are we so busy living in our heads with all that is going on in our lives that we barely take a glance at them? When we ask how people are doing, are we truly seeking an honest answer, or is it just a polite gesture with the hope of a quick "I'm fine."? (Hint: we are not fine.)

Here is a radical thought. Take the time to look people in the eye when you meet them on the street, in a restaurant, in church. Try to remember that God created them in His image and longs for their return to Him in the eternal kingdom. Remember that God has placed a desire in their hearts for their return to Him as well. Flash them that beautiful smile and say hello to let them know they have been seen. Leave time in your day to ask how people are doing, really doing, and be willing to listen to their stories. Build relationships with people you might otherwise just pass by along your day. If God repeatedly brings someone through your life, maybe, just maybe, He intends you to reach out to them for Him. 

Be warned. Opening yourself to this will bring people into your life you don't intend. It may (will) push you outside of your comfort zone. God's love isn't just for the righteous. Jesus didn't come for those of us who have our act together (hint: that's no one). He came to redeem the whole world, and He sends us out to the whole world, to all the corners of the earth. Maybe this means that you'll be sent to another corner, or maybe this means that He needs you to lighten up the corner of the world you are in right now. 

There is your challenge for the week ahead. Notice someone you wouldn't normally see (or don't want to see). Look them in the eye, share with them the truth and depth of God's love for them, and let them know they are not forgotten. Pray for them. Better yet, pray with them right there. See where God takes you and follow. 

Let's continue to love 'em like Jesus!

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Monday, February 23, 2015

15 Ways to Start a Revolution - The Love Dare Reimagined

True confessions time: I may have bitten off more than I can chew for Lent (and we aren't even a week in!). I thought it would be easy to find places for us to send cards, love notes, prayers in bulk. I was wrong. For good reasons, I was wrong. 

I had intended to start our project by sending love to our troops stationed overseas. Not having served or having anyone in service in our family, I had not considered that the military or the Archdiocese of the Military would not release addresses freely. Quite prudently, they must protect the safety of our men and women serving overseas. They had some great suggestions in lieu of my initial desires, though. One was to find a VA Hospital to work with, and another was to contact a local family with members serving overseas. My friend, Jennifer, also suggested working with the Wounded Warriors project. All excellent suggestions!

My next goal was to send notes and pictures to children who are in the hospital with long-term or terminal illnesses. While there is not the same safety concern, and we are not asking for names because I know full well that is crossing a boundary with minors for certain, there is the concern of deciding who would get noticed and who would not. We would never want to leave a child out, and without having a good way of knowing how many patients were on a floor or in a ward, it was just too daunting a project. One suggestion since my initial inquiry is to work with a local charity who grants wishes or supports families with sick children, and that is exactly what we will be doing.

Once I get some concrete information about where to mail our notes and artwork (because what is a day at Casa McCormick without artwork?), I will share them on the blog as much as I can. 

All these doors closing on me made me wonder if I was barking up the wrong tree, or doing something that perhaps God didn't want me to be doing over Lent. Then Patty from A Modern Grace left me an note quoting Blessed Mother Teresa, and it hit me. I was just going about it all the wrong way. I was thinking too abstract, too big, too global. I should have turned to my Saint Sister a lot sooner. Once I did, the answer was right in front of me, and shared in the theme of the responses I had been getting. Go local. 

Blessed Mother Teresa always encouraged us to start at home, to begin in our own communities. She encouraged us to create a ripple effect of love that would then spread out across the ocean - not because we went across the ocean, but because we would, by our love to those near us, inspire them to love, and they would inspire others, and so on. That is now what the focus of our Lenten Love Dare will be. Local. Loving those at home. Loving those God puts in our path in a bold way. Loving without fear. 

If you are looking for some concrete examples, here are a handful or two or three:

  1. Call a long lost friend.
  2. Apologize to someone who you have wronged, but never owned up to hurting.
  3. Send a note of encouragement to a friend.
  4. Thank someone who has made your life easier.
  5. Send your mom some flowers.
  6. Tell your parents what they mean to you.
  7. Write each of your children a note about your love for them.
  8. Write a note of forgiveness to someone who has hurt you, whether they have made amends or not. Leave it at the foot of the cross.
  9. Invite a relative or friend who is struggling to church and a meal.
  10. Offer a Holy Hour for someone and let them know you are praying for them.
  11. If you know someone serving overseas, put together a care package for them.
  12. If you know of a family experiencing serious illness, reach out to them and see what they might need.
  13. If you know of a family in the midst of grief, make an effort to spend some time with them. 
  14. If you know someone who is struggling with addiction, say a prayer to St. Jude for them and send a special intention to be placed at the altar at the National Shrine of St. Jude
  15. If you know someone who is incarcerated, send them a note of encouragement and a prayer card. 

There are so many other ways for us to shower our communities with the love of God. This may be one of those times where instead of thinking big, it is more effective to think small and constant. Please join us in this Lenten Love Dare, and let us know how you are working on loving better. Feel free to use the image below in your posts and use the tag #PPDlovedare on social media. Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

Project Empty: Letting Go of Ourselves

...all of a sudden,I am unaware 
of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us, oh,
Oh, how He loves us,
How He loves us all
David Crowder Band, How He Loves

Is your heart full? Do you feel the weight of His love pressing on your heart until it seems it will burst into a million pieces? There are days where I do, but more often there are days where it goes unnoticed. This Lent, all of my grand planning has but one goal - to empty myself of me to make more room for Him. 

Some of the emptying is bodily (via our Whole30 discipline). Some of the emptying is environmental (via the 40 Bags in 40 Days). Some of the emptying is mental (via the phone fast in the evenings). All of the emptying is so I can let the love of Christ be what fills me. I empty myself of convenience, of laziness, of me, and learn to depend solely on Him - to trust His Word and His promises, to rely on His providence, to fall on His grace to comfort and sustain me when it gets tough.

I can never experience the greatest magnitude of His glory if I design my life to be one of comfort and convenience, where there is no struggle, no effort, no affliction. So I enter into Lent with great plans I know will likely fail at some point, because I am human. I enter in trusting that my earnest effort will please Him. I enter in with the hope that as I empty myself of me, the Lord will fill my heart to burst, so that it cannot help but overflow into a Love-starved world. I enter in with a great desire to pass that thirst for the love of the Lord into the hearts of my children, along with the desire to pour out that love upon others.

I invite you to join us in this great Lenten Love Dare. I haven't figured out all the details as of yet, though I trust the Holy Spirit will guide us at his own pace. What I do know is that each week, our family will be focusing on a group of people suffering affliction and attempting to pour out love upon them. Prisoners, soldiers overseas, terminally ill children, the elderly, the homeless...people at risk of feeling discarded by society. Through creating spiritual bouquets, collecting prayer aids, and however else the Holy Spirit leads, we will share the love of God. We will let people know that they are not forgotten. We will remind them that their lives have meaning. We will share with them what we know in our hearts: God has created each of us for a purpose.

In the words of Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, "Each of us is willed. Each of us is loved. Each of us is necessary."

As I iron out the specifics involved, I will share our weekly projects. I triple dog dare you to join us!

Let's get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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Friday, February 13, 2015

SQT: On the Brink of Another Lent - Fasting, Prayer, & Giving at the Casa

Another week down, another Friday arrived. Yeehaw! Or the heck is it mid-February already?? LENT IS COMING! LENT IS COMING! And by that, I really mean to say holy moly next week is Ash Wednesday! We have talked a little bit about what disciplines we want to take up for Lent, but now it's nearly the time when the rubber meets the road. Here's a glimpse into what Lent may look like at Casa McCormick...

I wrote a while back about looking into the Whole30 initiative. It may have come out of left field for the Hubs, so we took some time to look at the program together, and it is decided that Lent will be a Whole30 Lent for the adults of Casa McCormick. I'll have a little more about our decision to do this on the blog next week. 

He is getting excited, and I am starting to wonder what the heck I just agreed to now that the actuality of it is staring me in the face. I've got the shopping list, looked up some recipes, and can absolutely get on board for the first week. I figure if we can make it work for a solid week, I can always lather, rinse and repeat for the next three. The part I am struggling with is breakfast. 

I have shared before that I am not a huge breakfast eater, and the Hubs usually grabs something quick and quiet before heading out. We don't want to make the Whole30 a "all egg all the time" plan, so I'm throwing this out there for those who have made the walk before us - what are some good, quick breakfast options that are not all egg based? I'm game for "prep ahead to grab and go," which is what I am sensing will be the reality.

This should be quite the adventure. At least they don't take away the caffeine, so I won't be completely unbearable! 

The message of God's love has been on my heart as of late. How much would change if we could see each other as the beloved of God, and how much we could do if we always aspired to give ourselves in love to one another instead of worrying about what we were getting. A friend made me a drawing with the words of St. Ignatius of Loyola, "Lord, teach me to give without counting the cost," and it resonates so deeply in me with regard to how we treat love. With Valentine's Day upon us, so many out there are angry, lonely, depressed, and frustrated because they feel they have no one special with whom to share the day. Sure, I am on the flip side of marriage so the singletons may guffaw at my words. However, that sentiment just isn't true! If we saw each other as precious to God, and ourselves as an extension of God's love to the world, we would see that we are surrounded by people with whom we can share our love, not just tomorrow, but every day. It may take on a different appearance than the vision in our heads, but it exists in great abundance.

We are going to be about sharing love this Lent. I am working on a list of weekly Love Dares (can I use that without infringing on some copyright?) for the kids to share the love of God with those around us. I'll post those on the blog next week once they are finalized, and you are welcome to join in (and add your own!). 

One things I absolutely love about being Catholic is the communion of Saints. Sadly, I know very little about far too many of them. As Li'l G begins to devour the written word, and the Judester is starting to take more interest in storytelling, it is the perfect opportunity for us to delve into the lives of the Saints more devotedly. I downloaded Woodeene Koenig-Bricker's 365 Saints which appear to be exactly what I was seeking for a quick study of the Saints. The book provides a daily summary of the life of a Saint, with a related theme for prayer and reflection questions. The writing is simple enough to be understood by children, but deep enough that I learn something as well. Plus, it wets my appetite to learn more as we go along.

Numerous Saints and Popes, and most recently Pope Francis, have been reminding us that when we live in excess, we are in reality stealing from the poor. Another thing we are taking on this Lent is "40 bags in 40 Days" (which will be a bit of a surprise to the Hubs, but maybe not entirely). Since the great flood of August 2014, we have been cleaning house and trying to pare down the clutter. Lent gives us a perfect time to pray about what we truly need, how much we trust in God's providence (a la "if I give away the kids' old clothes and I get pregnant again we won't have anything!), and what truly belongs here and what would be better used in someone else's home. 

This year, I am going to try to make the kids part of the pruning. We have been talking about how there are other children who have nothing compared to the overflowing toys, clothing, and just about everything else they have. Li'l G has started to warm up to the idea. That is to say that instead of screaming NO!!!!, she now thinks that maybe she could give away just "some of the things, but not all of them." I'm guessing I could wrangle five bags out of her between old clothes, shoes and toys they have outgrown. Judah may contribute without his knowledge. We shall see how that goes.

I usually take up an extra prayer practice each Lent. In the past I have said a nightly Rosary or gone to daily Adoration if only for 10 minutes. I don't think the daily Adoration will be on the table again until both kids are in school, but it was one of the best experiences of prayer I have ever had. With the message of God's love being so strongly etched on my heart right now, I will be praying a chaplet of Divine Mercy daily, altering my daily offering between the corporal and spiritual works of mercy. I invite anyone and everyone to join me! 

Another annual practice is the abandonment of the phone between dinner and the kids' bedtime (minus calls and important texts, of course). Too much of my time is wasted checking Facebook, email, and Instagram obsessively. In my head, I know there is nothing that I will miss if I simply put the phone down for a few hours, but those darn notifications are just too tempting! I am hoping to spend that time more productively, or in leisure with my family instead.

Last, but not least, and perhaps the most challenging - I am striving to be more intentional in my relationships. I participated in the Blessed is She sisterhood chat on Twitter earlier this week, and I was reminded of how important it is to all of us to stay connected in a real way. That doesn't exclude virtual connections, because frankly I think we misunderstand relationship if we discount those connections made over the internet; those are still very much "in real life." It does, however, stress the need for physical connections in addition since we are created as sensual beings. We need friends and relationships we can touch and see, not just on a screen or through a phone. (By the way, if you are a Catholic woman and haven't checked out Blessed is She, you really should!)

My mom moved here last mother's day, and while we see her more often than when she was in Oregon, I will say that we don't see her as much as she would like. I have lost touch with friends with whom I would like to reconnect, or at least connect more often. I've allowed social media to be my primary source of conversation, and over Lent, I would like to be more intentional about reaching out more personally. I'd love to say I am going to write letters, but I know myself and I am still working on a little letter writing project I committed to in December! (Sorry ladies - I am 90% there, honest!) Nonetheless, more personal communication and investment, here I come. Now, I am still an introvert, so I am not promising daily calls and visits - let's not get crazy!

Now it's your turn! What are your Lenten plans (realizing that God has His plans and is probably laughing pretty heartily right now)?

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Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Make the World Your Valentine

Love one another with mutual affection; outdo one another in showing honor. Romans 12:10
True confession time here: I used to hate Valentine's Day. H-A-T-E. As in wore black and called it V-D hate. I was always dateless and often feeling alone. What good was Valentine's Day if I wasn't dating anyone? Isn't it just a reminder for those who are single just how single they are? 

It certainly is the message that permeates the airwaves. Fancy dinners, sparkly jewelry, risque lingerie, chocolates, flowers, and the whole nine yards of all things supposedly romantic. It is big business. BIG. That is the problem, isn't it? Love and romance have been taken hostage by big business, businesses that tell us it is about the perfect gift, about the most passionate chemistry, about what we get from someone else. 

It took me a long time to realize that the problem wasn't that Valentine's Day was just a reminder of how alone I was. The problem was that it caused my feelings to become the myopic focus of everything. All of a sudden, my life was viewed through this narrow tunnel that made it impossible to see how much love was already in it because of what I didn't have. No romance. No flowers. No chocolate. No fancy dinners with all the love. 

How I wish someone would have told me then to reach outside of myself. How I wish I would have thought then, that regardless of how lonely I felt, I still had love to give, and there were other lonely souls out there that needed to be shown love and kindness. How I wish someone would have reminded me that we are all in the midst of the greatest romance ever known with a God who loves us to death. How badly the world needs to hear that, to feel that depth of love.

What if we stopped allowing our emotions to be manipulated for this one day? That goes for us whether we are single, dating, or married. Let's switch our focus from buying or receiving the perfect gift to being the perfect gift to one another. Instead of making Valentine's Day the pinnacle of romance, let's transform it into a celebration of the kind of love that steps outside of ourselves to really see the person next to us, whether a husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend, son, daughter, mother, father, neighbor, or stranger. That is where true intimacy begins, after all. It blossoms in seeing through to the heart of the other to see the fingerprint of God there - the God who shows us how to love by giving His life on the cross out of love for us.

Maybe you are alone this year. Maybe all the red hearts, chocolate, flowers, and not-so-subtle allusions to sex are making you queasy. Maybe you are married and tired, or maybe, just maybe, you love the celebration of love to the max and! First, I want you to take a look in the mirror and repeat after me: "I am loved. The God of heaven and earth loves me with the most ridiculous, amazing, powerful love ever known...He loves me to death and back to life again. I am His, and I am never alone."

Li'l G's first school valentine to share

Next, go find someone else and tell them to do the same thing. Make the world your valentine! Have dinner with a grieving friend. Take flowers to a lonely neighbor. Visit someone in a nursing home. Send a card to a soldier stationed overseas. Have a conversation with you parents and children about their lives. Call a long lost friend. Look at the homeless guy who sits on that same corner every day and flash him a big old smile (or take him a warm cup o' joe). Rekindle whatever in your marriage has been lost by the grind of every day life.

Whatever you do, get out there and love 'em like Jesus!

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Tuesday, February 10, 2015

{From Holy Cow to Holy Spirit} Growing Up in Small Town Iowa

I will put my law within them, and I will write it on their hearts;
and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.
Jeremiah 31:33

Skatetown, circa 1980-something...

Picture it. Small town Iowa, population ~25,000. Only brown kid in kindergarten, yet blissfully unaware of it. So the stage is set for my childhood. My parents did a phenomenal job of keeping me sheltered from the difficulties they faced in such a town. Truth be told, I don't know that they even always thought of their experiences as difficulties. My dad had a righteous work ethic, so no matter the snub or slight, he put 110% of himself into everything he did. 

"No problem." That was his motto, and that held true for whatever was asked of him, regardless of the reason. Now my mother, as I have shared, has a slightly more lively spirit. I have vague memories of their discussions as I grew older and she felt he was being overlooked or put down because of prejudice. They are very vague and very slight memories because for the most part, my parents didn't spend much time dwelling on any of those occurrences. 

It was only later in life that I would learn that some kid had mentioned that if it weren't for me our class would be fully white. Clearly it impacted me so little I don't even remember it being said beyond telling my mom after school (which is how she knew). 

For the most part, I had my group of friends, and when you're small, it is a pretty large group. We all went to each others' birthday parties, played in school, joined the band, or chorus, or school teams. We nerds stuck together in the TAG program. Even as a family, we looked fairly "normal" from the outside. We celebrated Christmas, with Santa, a tree, and presents galore. We partook in Easter festivities with the bunny and egg hunt. 

We were, by all means, cultural Christians, who knew and partook of the festivities, but never knew or mentioned Jesus. Yet at the same time, we had our home altar to our Hindu gods and went to temples nearby for pujas (Hindu festivals). I wore a sari for multicultural day at school, performed some Indian dance for our talent show, and mom cooked some traditional Indian food for the International Fair every year. 

I had NO idea who I was. I just went along with the flow of life. I wasn't proudly Indian/Hindu, but I wasn't what I would consider just a normal kid either. As I grew older, those differences, and their impact on my self-image and confidence, would begin to have an impact on me. It was assumed, since I was Indian, that I was smart and would be a doctor. Quite stereotypically, my cousin and I both aced the school and district spelling bees. I gravitated toward debate instead of science, but still, I was a full fledged nerd before nerdy was cool. 

Take one part nerd and one part different, it seemed like growing up was always a bit of a battle. I had a wonderful group of friends, but even among them I was different. My parents experiences were not like their parents, so the rites of passage were just different. Being an only child to older parents, they may have been just a wee overprotective at times as well. Lets just say the party invites once I hit junior high did not roll in quickly, and some that came were just in mockery. When I look back over the throwback photos of the people I went to high school with, my world and theirs were drastically different. While in the grand scheme of things this is not important, to a teenager who desperately wants to belong, it was everything. 

As for the content of my character, I never gave much thought to it. While we prayed daily in our home temple, I wasn't educated in our faith beyond that. I don't think it was because my parents didn't value faith, or thought I could make my own decisions. I simply think that they grew up surrounded by their heritage and faith so it was naturally passed on, whereas I was not. Sure, we had a handful of other Indian families, and some Hindu communities nearby, like Ames where there was a larger population of Hindus due to the university setting (no stereotypes there). Overall, we were fairly isolated.

The basics were there, though. Daily prayer. Check. Human dignity. Check. Understanding of an absolute right and wrong. Check. Taking care of those less fortunate. Check. Marriage as an inviolable institution. Check. No dating until you're 30. Check. (Okay, that last one wasn't real...just preferred.) I was having a conversation with a friend a few years ago in the midst of a debate about Christian vs. non-Christian morality. I was explaining how I have such a hard time accepting any argument whose premise is that only Christians understand the heart of God. It was very much my experience that God had planted His law in the hearts of my parents, and they had passed along the basics to me. Clear evidence of natural law if ever I saw one. It was just basic morality.

Now what I did with that was another story. I would lose track of some of these things along the way as I found myself wandering aimlessly trying to figure out who I was and where I belonged. That longing for love wouldn't always lead me down the right path, but God in His infinite wisdom, knew it would eventually lead me to seek Him, and Him alone. Somewhere in the midst of my childhood and adolescence, in a small Iowa town, God set a plan in motion. 

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Monday, February 9, 2015

5 Realities of an Introverted Wife & Mother

Yes, I am an introvert. No, if you meet me you probably don't know that because I border on some rather extroverted qualities. I am not typically anti-social after my morning coffee, and I like a good party (even more after a glass of wine). The fact remains, which I barely knew myself, that I am an introvert. 

Being married to a greater introvert, my own inclinations sometimes become hidden by his need for quiet and solitary time. As I was recently reflecting on life as we currently know it, a few big old light bulbs went off in my head answering some age old questions and began to dissipate some guilt about differences in myself since marriage...and more specifically having children. Life is just different now, and here are some of those realities.

1) When I was single, I was far more social. I often worked 50-70 hour weeks, hung out with friends, went to concerts/parties/events...did more out of the house. That was then, this is now. I have finally realized that when I was single and living alone, I always had the time to recharge because I came home to silence and solitude. Now, I am lucky if I get a few hours of silence while I sleep. The thought of leaving home after returning from work or the day's activities is akin to dread. It isn't that I don't cherish the friends I have, it is simply that I have no energy or attention left to give them.

2) Marriage is my vocation, and the resulting family an extension of it. While I was single, I may have fully committed to not fall away from all my friendships upon marriage. I admit now that I couldn't fully appreciate the time it takes to not just maintain, but truly attend to your marriage and family...or the desire to do so at the detriment of other relationships. Again, this is not to say I do not value friendships. I do, and they are an essential part of my life and component of living out my vocation still. What I have realized, though, is that being an introvert causes me to have to make more tough choices about where I will spend my time and energy, and that sometimes unless I am forced to do so, I will choose my home instead of out in the world. 

3) 'Social Media can be my best friend...and my worst enemy. I absolutely love that I can stay in touch with my friends through social media, be it Facebook or Instagram. I feel connected to them without feeling exhausted by physically trying to meet up with all of them. Therein lies the shadow side. Feeling so connected via social media can make it less of a priority for me to attempt to get together in person with a large number of friends, and that is a failing. 

4) Some friends just won't understand. The sad reality is that when I have to make the tough choices of where I spend my time and energy, sometimes what I am able to offer now is not going to be enough for someone else. I am still learning to live with that and not drown myself in guilt for being a terrible friend. Some guilt is okay - my needs do sometimes outweigh theirs, and yes, it can be selfish. There will be some friends who were once inseparable from me who now need more than I can give. Just as I need to take care of myself and my spirit by pulling back, they have to make their choices too. I do not begrudge those friends at all. I miss them, but I do not begrudge them. 

5) The friends who get it are your "tribe." You know who they are. They are the ones you can go weeks without talking to and then pick up where you left off like it was just yesterday. They are the ones who know to text before they call when it might be naptime or bedtime because ain't nobody got time for friends who wake the kids without an emergency. They are the ones who know which days are the long days and offer to help, but only if you want them to because they get that after a long day, maybe you don't want to see their faces no matter how beautiful they are. They know that your phone calls will be interrupted by mama-Tourettes, that days you work are long and hard, that toddlers are exhausting, that you barely talk to your husband because you are both dog tired even though you have cats. They know, that for your good, they sometimes just have to demand you leave your house, even if it is in your pajamas (though your husband would object to that). They know that your neglect isn't a neon sign that you don't love them anymore, just a sign that you might have your head underwater with the rest of life...and sometimes they bring a lifeboat. They offer you countless do-overs and make you want to try a lot harder at being a more attentive friend.

While this is my reality for now, I realize that I cannot use it as an excuse to burrow away until such time that I'm not under constant bombardment by people who want my attention at home and work. We will be on our way to the heavenly kingdom if we were to wait for that! Having had this revelation, though, gives me permission to make the tough choices without as much guilt and with some context. I don't remember my parents being out and about a lot, though I may have wished them to go out more. It is okay for me to not compare my social life as a married woman with children to my social life as a single person.

In our own marriage, we know it is important to make time for friends and that strong friendships will help us in our marriage and in parenting. We understand marriage to be a sacrament of service, both to each other and to the world. It is important for us to find a way to engage with our friends more, and to devote ourselves to our community. In doing so, understanding our needs and how they have changed will help us to give of ourselves without draining ourselves to a point where we have nothing to give...or to be so daunted by the thought of giving more that we simply hide under the covers.

Know thyself, they say. So it is that I now understand how living alone in my single years had masked my introverted nature in a way that marriage and family sorely exposes it. For what seems like a drastic change in my attentiveness, my sincerest apologies, friends. I do hope you will choose to stay part of my tribe.

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Friday, February 6, 2015

SQT: The Quiet Hush of Naptime in a Wintery World Full of Babies (and Books)

These may be might short this week, because mama is a little worn down. Between tantrums, and tantrums, and sick children, we will see what kind of sentences I can string together today...

Is there a sweeter sound that the quiet hush of naptime, when all the little critters in the house are still and all your can hear is their quiet ever so gently... I dare not write too much about it lest it damage the force.

For a short moment this morning, I thought perhaps I was going to have to dig into my marital-Irish background to make my coffee. I restrained myself. Truly, I did. Why, you ask, would I be tempted? Let's just say I was awoken by the sounds of a rather disgruntled young family member who was more than a little distraught that daddy was not home. "I MIIIIIISSSSSS HIIIIIIIIIIM SOOOOOOOO MUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCHHHHHH!" No, no drama here. Move along.

We had two snow days this week. This was great for family bonding, but not great for cabin fever. Unfortunately, the temps were just a little too low for me to take the kidlets outside. I know, other mamas brave it, but not this shrimpo wimpo here. Too cold when they have colds. So while others were being dragged in THE coolest sled I've seen for a wee one, we bunkered down and had a family movie day toddler style. (AKA cartoons)

In other news, I think everyone I know is having babies. Yes, that is an exaggeration. Honestly, though, two friends have had twins this week, five other friends have had babies in the past couple of months, and yet at least another seven are expecting some time this year. It may be more and I may have lost count right now. Babies are everywhere, and it kind of makes me feel this weird pressure to start having all.the.babies even though I'm not sure that is God's plan for us and I know babymaking isn't an Olympic sport even for us Catholics.

I am sometimes a little slow, and it took me until very recently to realize that most of the beautiful mamas who are having their 6th+ child did not begin having children in their mid-late 30s. I really shouldn't be comparing myself at all, but if I did, I should take into consideration where these mamas of large families were when they got to be my age. Most I know were already on child 4+. Grants my crazy mind a lot of needed perspective until the rest of me catches up to the "it is not a competition" / "you only need to do what God expects of you, not everyone else" tracks on the record.

One effect of all.the.babies being born lately is that it leads people to ask us if we are planning on / trying to have more children. We have our stock answer, which is that we are open to God's designs, but it is an awkward question altogether. What exactly are you asking me? Are we having sex? Are we abstaining? Are we seeking fertility help? Are we on birth control? What exactly is it that you are asking when you ask if people are trying to have children? Are the children I have not enough? Do you suspect we are being selfish? What do you want from me people?!?

I might have responded to one such inquiry with an astounded "Are you asking me if/how often my husband and I are having sex?!?" That took care of that. I suppose I just think that the only people involved in that question should be the two that are involved in ye olde babymaking. Call me old fashioned.

I realize now that I have neglected to brag on my baby. Our Li'l G, who is not so little anymore, can read. Full blown reading books. Yes, preschool-ish books, but whole, multiple page, books! She read me her bedtime story the other night. She devours the written word. If there are letters to be seen, she will be reading them...even when they don't make sense because it is a product code or something of the like. Her bibliophile parents couldn't be prouder, and I cannot wait to introduce her to some of my favorite books as a kid. Amelia Bedelia, Encyclopedia Brown, Little House, Hardy Boys...good times, my friends, good times. I will have to ask her what her favorite books are right now, but a few that rate up there are Harold and the Purple Crayon, Molly Lou Melon, and LarryBoy and the Bubblegum Bandit. Plus Dr. Seuss. And Five Little Monkeys.

Oh blast it. She has no favorites - whatever she can read, she loves! What were your favorite books as a little kid?

Last but not least, the blog has been a little slow as of late, and I am sorry for that. I've had several posts to work on, but life/motivation has simply gotten in the way. There are more Project Empty, From Holy Cow to Holy Spirit, and other random posts coming. I promise. I'll leave you with a link to the only other post from this week because I feel so strongly it is a message God wants to be blasted from the rooftops. You are precious to God.

I think that is about it from these parts. Mama is tired and needs more coffee...and is going to revel in the current silence...

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Wednesday, February 4, 2015

You Are Precious to God

We must never undervalue any person. The workman loves not that his work should be despised in his presence. Now God is present everywhere, and every person is His work. St. Francis deSales
I was driving on the interstate a few weeks ago on my way to meet a friend, and as is my nature, I was becoming rather irritated with the irrational driving decisions of those around me. It was beyond my ability to understand, why on this beautifully hazy winter day, drivers insisted on driving well below the speed limit or changing lanes without using their signal. The thought mystified me. So much so, that I may have begun to utter quietly some disparaging remarks about said drivers. Shocking, I know.

Under that hazy sunlight, in my speedy little van, I heard the voice of God. No, not audibly - Val Kilmer hasn't installed any speakers in our van to my knowledge. (100 points if you get that movie reference!) Still, I heard the whisper of God remind me that this clearly annoying driver was precious to Him. All I could think in that moment, after having expressed my annoyance, was, "You are precious to God." 

Every driver. All the way. "You are precious to God." 

That revelation has stuck with me for all these weeks. All these weeks I have been meaning to write about that day, and yet life has interrupted my best efforts. 

"You are precious to God." 

How much strife, division, conflict, anger, destruction, havoc - how much woundedness could we avoid if we remembered just that one thing. 

"You are precious to God." 

That desire that lies in the deepest recess of our hearts, no matter how much they are hardened by the burdens and beatings of life, to belong to someone, to be precious to someone. 

"You are precious to God." 

Yes, you, who have taken another's life.
Yes, you, who destroyed your family.
Yes, you, who injured me.
Yes, you, who destroyed the most innocent of children.
Yes, you, who are triggering in me the most violent anger.
Yes, you, who with whom I cannot seem to find a single common thing. 
All of you, regardless of who you are to me, you are precious to God. 

All this time I have wanted to write, and yet the words wouldn't come. Then a few days ago, just as I was ruminating on this phrase, this came into my email from Steubenville University:

What are the chances? For those who follow my blog, you'll know that Blessed Mother Teresa is a patron saint for our family, and that I feel a strong connection to her. It seems she was prodding me along. Maybe this message wasn't just for those other people. Maybe, just maybe, God was saying the same thing to me.

"I am precious to Him." 

With all my shortcomings, with all my quirks and failings and sinfulness and insecurities.

"I am precious to Him." 

No matter what someone else has done to me, called me, thought of me. 

"I am precious to Him."

Not in the future, not another day, but right now, in all my brokenness.

"I am precious to Him."

You are precious to Him. He created You. He calls you by name. You are His beloved, His son or daughter, His forever. 

No matter where you have been, where you are, or where you think you are going, you are never too far away to reach out for the love of the Lord. No matter what has been done to you, you are never too far away or too broken to let the Lord share His love through you. 

We must love better if we are to bring light to this dark world. If we are to leave our children with a better world than where we have been, we must love with abandon. We must let the Lord say to us and through us to one another, no matter what you have done, you belong to Him. 

"You are precious to God."

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Friday, January 30, 2015

SQT: The One About Adoration for Babies, The Superbowl, Intercessory Prayer, Mugs, and Lenten Loving

Hallelujah, it is Friday, and I'm in love! Well, as soon as this headache goes away, I'm in love.

It's Superbowl weekend. I almost forgot. To me, it is Mary's Mantle Adoration Kickoff weekend. We are so humbled to be able to move to a new, stunningly beautiful location this spring, and are kicking it off with perpetual adoration from February 1 - 4. If you are local and want to know more, email me or leave a comment, and I will hook you up with the details.

I may or may not have broken a frame whilst hanging up
the photo wall of babies who have been born in residence.

As for the Superbowl, I've got no skin in the game. I mean, I grew up in Iowa and now live in Detroit - I will likely NEVER have skin in the game. A friend from high school is a big shot over at Budweiser in PR & Marketing, though, so she's got skin in the game...the commercial game. I think they're aiming for a tearjerker again this year!

Last Superbowl related take, promise. My cousin-in-law posted this earlier on Facebook, and it always brings to mind the utter disparity that exists. Cheering, money-throwing, rowdy fans versus those with nowhere to lay their heads...or in this case, very limited means to feed their family.

I witnessed a man get arrested for shoplifting a gallon of milk and a bag of bread this morning while making my morning run for Starbucks.As he was being led away from his car, that was missing the back window, he pleaded with the security guard to allow him to get his young son out of the car. The guard allowed him to get his child. I offered to pay for the bread and milk but it was against store policy. I get that the man was wrong and should have sought help but how desperate he must have felt to steal milk and bread from the local grocery store. With the Superbowl and Phoenix Open in town and the great wealth associated with the two events, I paused, and hope you also pause and remember all those who lack the basic necessities of life. Pay it forward today.
He admits, as do I, that there are places this man could go for help. That doesn't negate the fact that he needs help to feed his family. I do so wish stores wouldn't have such black and white policies on generosity in the face of bad decisions. The man wasn't lifting an Xbox - he needed a breadbox. Why not let my cousin pick up the tab and let the man be on his way with a warning instead wasting time, money, and energy prosecuting him? Jail won't fix his problem. Generosity may have. I won't even get started on the whole shipping out the homeless when the Superbowl is in town rant... You can thank me later.

There is a new feature up now at The Pitter Patter Diaries. Sunday is our family rosary night. Every week for the past year, we have been offering our rosary for prayer requests that you have sent us via Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Now, there is a spot on the right sidebar where you can submit your prayer requests at any time. We will, of course, offer prayer immediately, but these requests will then also be offered during our Sunday Family Rosary. I've written before that I started soliciting prayer requests on Facebook as a whim. It is so humbling to see how this has become a family ministry of intercessory prayer, and the truly intimate prayers that people have entrusted to us. It is equally humbling to watch how the Lord answers in His own way and His own time.  The lesson here is truly that the Lord uses us as He chooses, not how we always dream to be used, and not always in ways we feel well equipped to be used. I suppose that is where His glory shines brightest, isn't it? 

I posted this mug on Instagram for Blessed Is She's #ProjectBlessed yesterday and got a phenomenal response. It is now sold, but I think this quote will become a standard store item!

I saw this on Facebook today, and while I too love my mug design, this wins all the mugs. Do you think this fits the "bringing light to the darkness" mission for my store? Laughter is light, right? I'm thinking this might have to hit the virtual shelf in the shop soon as well.

February is right around the corner! It's love month...and also the start of the Lenten season. I think perhaps this year there will be a little L&L (Love & Lent) going on around here in very strange ways as I continue my Project Empty. In the Love Department, look for musings on how we can grow in love and do it better over the next several weeks...and maybe a little giveaway from the Etsy shop.

As for Lent, I am all ears for ideas to fast, pray, and give. Currently, I am thinking of adopting the Whole 30 for Lent and turning it into a Whole 40. There will be more on that if the Hubs agrees (because I cannot do a food journey alone) in a new Project Empty post next week. I think Lent will be about simplifying and going a little gangbusters with Project Empty around here. More of Him, less of me...and my stuff! Have you thought about how you're going to fast, pray, and give this Lent? I'd love to hear what you're thinking!

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